Have I accepted the full measure of my disease?
Yes. I have also accepted that I’m at this point where anything part of my brain wants to do can and will kill me.
Do I think I can still associate with the people connected with my addiction? Can I still go to the places where I used? Do I think it’s wise to keep drugs or paraphenalia around, just to “remind myself” or test my recovery? If so, why?
Nooooooooooooo, I can’t go near anyone I associate with addiction, even most of the people I’ve smoked weed with. No to everything else.
Is there something I think I can’t get through clean, some event that might happen that will be so painful that I’ll have to use to survive the hurt?
No, using just makes the eventual emotion worse and generally adds some extra regret to deal with.
Do I think that with some amount of clean time, or with different life circumstances, I’d be able to control my using?
I’ve thought that in the past, relapsed, and ended up where I started enough not to think this anymore.
What reservations am I still holding on to?
I think I’m done with reservations.